Can it be resolved?

I'd like to quote a slide from Richard's lecture, which I finally understand what it means.

"Never explain yourself to anyone,
because the person who likes you don't need it and
because the person who dislikes you won't believe it."

Since it's impossible for anyone to understand me really well, I've tried very hard to explain what kind of person I really am. But in the end, does anyone really take it seriously?

It's true that I have changed in the past year; I'm more direct with what I want to say. In the past, my bad communication skills and critical way of voicing out my opinion will very likely cause people to get the wrong idea. But if it’s a very important matter, I’ll directly voice out my opinion on it, even if people may be unhappy after hearing what I say.

Alas, being too frank landed myself in trouble. Just because of one misinterpreted blog post, people have been angry with me.

Frankly speaking, I have never expected or demanded my friends to entertain me all the time. Of course, I’m very aware that they have been very nice to me, tried to joke with me and I’ve never taken them for granted. A lot of times, I become not very responsive, as I have very big and troublesome non-academic problems to face. You may think “How big the problem can be?” You think I’m exaggerating. But I’m not. You will be so amused when you witnessed all those very big and troublesome problems only come to me when I am very busy and when people want to talk to me. I responded, even though it’s not much. The reason I don’t really want to tell others about my personal problems is that I don’t want others to pity me or to give me “special treatment”. When I noticed their attitude to me suddenly changed and seemed permanent, I’m worried something was happening. In the process of finding out what happened, a series of things I observed and experienced led me to write that post.

Me and them have been good friends over the past 3-4 years. In their opinion, am I really that kind of bad/evil person at the core? What about their interactions with me all along? What about all the things I have done in the past? Why does the foundation of friendship so weak, to the extent that it cannot even withstand a single blow? If it has been so weak all along, then I must have been living in my own imaginary, ideal world. It’s a fact that a thousand good things can be destroyed just by a single bad thing. But is the bond really so weak?

If they really intend to avoid or hate me forever after reading that blog post, I only have one thing to say.

“I never expected things will turn out this way. I’m deeply sorry. I’ll always remember the times we all spent together as a group, as it has been the happiest times in my life.”