Sometimes I really wonder what’s the purpose of my existence in this world. Is it to make people feel more confused, more irritated or more awkward? If I was never born, the world should be a slightly better place.
Only in recent year I realized how deep the impacts of my poly IA as lab assistant & work as gas plant technician on my life. I guess friends who know me for very long had noticed significant changes in my way of thinking & also personality-as-it-appears-to-others. I had turned into a person plagued with excessive fatigue, carelessness, blurness & stupidity, despite eating well & having enough rest. I've been thinking what's happened to myself & finally reached a conclusion. The short & long-term exposure to toxic chemical vapours/gases during poly IA & technician work had exerted its chronic effect, despite all the safety precautions I've made. In short, my brain & bodily functions have been partially impaired. These are not all. After recovering from 2nd dengue fever in my 1st year in NTU, there seems to be an abnormality in the body, e.g. sensitive skin reaction to hot sun. You may find it hard to believe, but I never felt like this before.
As an often-misunderstood person, I'm perceived to think in a certain way, viz the blur way, which dies hard. I've tried very hard to counteract these after-effects, but to no avail. As a result, I often made stupid mistakes (which I shouldn’t have) & also did badly in tests & exams.
All these only aggravated my efforts to change myself towards a better person. To achieve my wish to be a chemical engineer, I’ve sacrificed my health & social life in the process. It’s really unfortunate…
I feel apologetic to people around me who've been putting up with my weirdness, blurness, carelessness and stupidity.
Only in recent year I realized how deep the impacts of my poly IA as lab assistant & work as gas plant technician on my life. I guess friends who know me for very long had noticed significant changes in my way of thinking & also personality-as-it-appears-to-others. I had turned into a person plagued with excessive fatigue, carelessness, blurness & stupidity, despite eating well & having enough rest. I've been thinking what's happened to myself & finally reached a conclusion. The short & long-term exposure to toxic chemical vapours/gases during poly IA & technician work had exerted its chronic effect, despite all the safety precautions I've made. In short, my brain & bodily functions have been partially impaired. These are not all. After recovering from 2nd dengue fever in my 1st year in NTU, there seems to be an abnormality in the body, e.g. sensitive skin reaction to hot sun. You may find it hard to believe, but I never felt like this before.
As an often-misunderstood person, I'm perceived to think in a certain way, viz the blur way, which dies hard. I've tried very hard to counteract these after-effects, but to no avail. As a result, I often made stupid mistakes (which I shouldn’t have) & also did badly in tests & exams.
All these only aggravated my efforts to change myself towards a better person. To achieve my wish to be a chemical engineer, I’ve sacrificed my health & social life in the process. It’s really unfortunate…
I feel apologetic to people around me who've been putting up with my weirdness, blurness, carelessness and stupidity.
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