Voices From The Heart

For the past few weeks, I've been thinking about the past, present & future. IA life has never been easy. Although workload has been increasing recently, the journey to work & back home have been filled with feelings of solitude. During the short moments in the bus & train, I couldn't help feeling lost amidst the crowd.

I've been wondering if it's time to let go of those things & focus on what really matters in life. Being away from home for so long & facing so many obstacles have made me become more independent, but also made me feel numb on certain things, especially relationships. Probably I shouldn't say this. It's only natural that people don't feel the same way for you as what you feel about them.

I used to think that there exists one person in this world who truly understands me. But I doubt there'll ever be one. I've no idea what's stopping me to let others know more about myself. I'm afraid to allow myself to be too engrossed into building up relationships, as I worry I will let them down. I don't wish my friends to feel that kind of sadness, vexing heavy burden. Maybe that's also why it's hard for me to feel truly happy, let alone for others to see happiness written on my face.

I used to believe that people can shape their own destinies. It only depends on our determination. Recently I realised I'm wrong. There are things that you can't change, no matter how hard you try. Even though I don't wish to resign to fate, but now I've no choice. However, I'll continue trying, trying & trying.... till I'm too tired to try anymore. Maybe these are my fate, my life, my karma...