Thursday, January 22, 2009

Pre-CNY Feeling

Year 2008... It has been a rough ride for me. Studies, friendships and health (partly)... all deteriorating.

No one really knows how I feel. I'm not stressed or sad because of studies, which people always assume so. It's because a friendship has turned sour. A friend who in the past I always thought will never ignore me. But as the law of nature dictates, nothing is permanent. The same applies to people's feelings.

Why did they change?
I didn't know.
Did I expect too much?

Basically, I just expect my good friend will never look down on me (even though I am not smart), as this is the thing which I detest the most. This is true for anyone. There's bound to be at least 1 thing which they hate the most.

Did they ever realise what they had said?
It really hurts.
Am I wrong to be angry?
Don't I have the right to be angry?
Why do people have the idea that I will never get angry?

I don't know how my good friends think of me. What I know is that I have always treasured them deep down in my heart. It's a hard cold fact that I am not very expressive or communicative, but I never despise my good friends!

How will you feel when your good friends...
Purposely avoiding eye contact with you while chatting?
Asked you out but ignored you most of the time?

Maybe people think I don't care about them by not chatting a lot with them.

Why do people always make assumptions on me?
Why do people always judge me from the surface alone?
Why do people think I will never change from their 1st impression of me?
Why am I not given a chance?

Maybe I am not an important friend to them at all. But they are important to me. That's why I am angry. Maybe I am not the type who shows the obvious way of expressing concern.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes misunderstanding occurs when people don't talk things out. If you think your friends have made assumptions, it just means it's time for a chat. Don't make assumptions of what your friends are thinking too.

TK

Anonymous said...

It's difficult for me to talk about this kinda things. I don't wish to offend my friends, but I hope they can understand me.

It's just that I feel very uncomfortable. When people see me not talking or smiling, they think I'm stressed or serious & leave me alone. Of course, there are times that I am really stressed. But I'm not always stressed. The fact is that I'm just very tired & not that I don't want to talk & purposely ignore them.

No offence. I observed that people don't seem comfortable when I talk. So I refrain from talking too much to others, unless it's very obvious to me that they are absolutely comfortable with it.

Anyway, thanks for sharing ur thoughts.

H