K-Lunch @ Lucky Chinatown

Haha, had a great day today! Many laughed until face cramp, because CS got his hit-song le,天下无双 La la la, hehe. May Ling (ML) also sang for the 1st time with ATP. Both sang very well :)

ATP pals, thanks a lot for the birthday wishes & gifts (a PINK polo tee & a white jacket). I tried them le & liked them very much. Though I never wear pink shirt before, but next outing I'll try to wear it, hehe...

We've got lotsa things to talk that we spent almost the entire day chatting. Haha, as usual, IA & the ever-interesting gossips on the chat-list, while having high tea & dinner at Hans Cafe. The environment was quite cosy, but the dining utensils seemed not that clean, hmm...

Okie, shall update again when I receive the photos from CS or the organisers. Haha, next outings have been planned le. 期待那一天的到来 :)

Departure

Earlier just went with my bro & ex-room mate to the funeral of ex-landlady's mother-in-law. So shocked when I got the news this afternoon. Felt very sad during the bus-journey back home, as I recalled back her acts of kindness. I just visited her few months ago & she's still looked as healthy as usual, just that her movements a bit slower. Things come so suddenly. Haiz...

The ex-landlady, landlord & her mother-in-law treated me like their own family members. She's a refined lady, soft-spoken, cheerful, dotes on children & always put others needs before hers. Often, she'll gave us fruits/snacks or asked us to join them for dinner. Sometimes they even noticed we feel tired of outside food & cooked porridge with some dishes for us. I was so touched. I don't think I'd ever get such a kind-hearted landlady elsewhere, which is why I stayed there for 4 years, the longest ever in my room-rental history.

This reminds me that we should cherish those around us, our family, friends & loved ones and never wait until they left us. I'll always remember her kindness. May she finds her place in the Heaven...

怀旧的下午

Today went to K-lunch @ Marina Square with CS, CK & another new friend, Zhong Kang (ZK). We sang quite a few nostalgic songs by Hong Kong singers. Hmm, while immersing in that atmosphere, me had a crispy fish set-lunch, kinda like Jap food. Dunno sth wrong with the food or what, some felt a bit stomachache after having chicken set-lunch. Grrr...

Next stop, MOF. Do MOE, MOM or MOS ring a bell? Suggested by CK, we tried the Jap ice-cream there for desert. Ooh, I love ice-cream! Me ordered a "supposingly" peach-flavoured one. Hmm, saw the peach but couldn't really "smell & taste" the peachness in it, haha. Then saw a similar but enlarged & tall version passing by. Curiously, ZK asked the waitress its price & it's really more "hua suan", haha... Overall, quite a nice place for chit-chat.

Next we jalan jalan for a while outside Marina Square, sun-bathing... Yesh de, it was a hot afternoon, yet we decided to absorb some vitamin D after lunch. What a healthy life style...

Yeah, next week got another outing, K-lunch with ATP profs... Looking forward to it :)

Dance & Film - Creative Forms of Expression

Yeah, finally squeezed out some time to watch movies with AL yesterday, though it has been screened for quite some time liao. I liked the movie, the graphics were good, just like The Incredibles. Food is one of the best things in life & I agree with Chef Gusteau's belief that "Anyone Can Cook". Haha, but I'm a bad cook. My only niche area is instant noodles. Come, come, instant noodles, anyone?

"Not everyone can be a great cook,

but a great cook can come from anywhere."

The movie is funny & captured well the essence of Paris, the artistic capital with a unique appreciation of the meaning of food and wine. The night scenery in Paris as animated in the movie was so enchanting... How I wish I could visit Paris one day to experience that artistically-rich atmosphere!

After movie, went to NUS University Cultural Centre to watch Dance Reflections 2007 : The Next Wave 2007 - Fifteen, by The NUS Dance Ensemble. Hip-hop & Asian dances, e.g. Indian dances & even contemporary dance with Balinese influence were presented. They've put up a professional performance & some are really unique in a sense that they used a very different way of expressing a theme. I must admit that it was a rather chim art for me, especially trying to interpret the meaning of the dance moves, while immersing in music, expressions & orchestrated movements. But it's a fun, refreshing and enriching experience as I learn to appreciate art, taking a short break away from engineering and science.

失望

So many things going on this week. My ex-supervisor left on Tuesday. The day before, I gave her a box of Ferrero Rocher & she smiled happily. So glad. The next day, before leaving, she said "好好读书啊..." & gave me 3 golf balls with DeltaV logo printed on them. What a special gift... Though I don't play golf, they make good souveniers.

Past few days, has been busy with some urgent personal stuff & preparing for Susanna's visit. As always, tired & insufficient sleep. Finally she came today. Everything went smoothly initially, until I showed her the stuff that I've been doing for past 2 months. She saw an overview graphics for my project & asked me to explain the process & also the reactor size, then I stoned for a moment. My brain temporarily disconnected from my mouth & the tongue got entangled. I read about the process 3 weeks ago, so could only vaguely remember. I focused too much on automation part & neglected the process. How can an automation person trying to control a process which he does not know well enough? 真的是捶心肝啊!

Although my supervisor didn't say anything bad & Susanna seemed to be ok with what I told & showed her, but I'm really disappointed with my performance, in terms of my way of presenting information to her. It was so unclear, unconfident & obvious that I didn't prepare well at all. Tiredness also made simple smiles difficult.

Haiz, over the next 10 weeks, must really brush up on process aspects. Afterall, a chemical engineer is still most interested in how the process works. Really must 加油 ler!

温暖的感觉

这个星期, 工作让我有不一样的体验. I don't know why, even though I've been there for only a while, but I feel a strong sense of belonging. People there really treat me well, despite I frequently appear to be quiet & tired.

My department people are like a small, close-knit family to me. They'll come to "jio" me for lunch everyday. I especially respect the manager - no air of a manager at all. He often sits in front of me during lunch & starts asking me things, although he's a rather quiet guy. When I bump into him, he'll always greet me with a nod & smile. Then the ang moh automation team leader is also very friendly & always smiling. After a meeting with him yesterday, he came over to ask me if I could cope with the tasks. He also doesn't give me 高高在上的感觉 at all.

Hmm, just knew today my initial mentor will be my new supervisor. A very friendly guy, cheerful & always patient with me. Maybe he's only a few years older than me, 所以比较谈得来. Then another mentor is a soft-spoken guy, very fatherly & patient with me. He has a best friend from mechanical department, always like to joke around & make fun of me, haha...

What I feel very different about the environment here is they really care about your personal development, don't feel irritated when I ask them a lot of questions & would often explain to me at length. Even if they are busy, they'll tell me nicely & not "bin chao chao". The fatherly mentor frequently gave me advice on what things to learn more during my stay there, so that after I graduate I will have a better chance of joining in. The engineer is like a brother to me. Yesterday he "ajak" me to join the weekly meeting & ask me to help him do test protocol, so I can learn things other than just drawing graphics. Then today the manager asked me to join another weekly meeting, to learn how to design control strategies for the new project that I'm involved in now.

Today after the loop check, I realised there are still so many things about what I've been doing for the past 2 months that I don't understand at all. I concentrated mainly on mechanical aspects of the work, wanna complete the work faster since so many tags to work on & tried not to make any mistakes. Hmm, from now onwards, I must delve deeper & ask more thinking questions, so that 我不会辜负他们.

I finally found my dream company, in which I found a sense of mission, with people really caring about you as a person & giving you challenging tasks to do. Yeah!

领悟

After a busy period, finally found time to write sth. Hmm, last posts were filled with much heavy feelings. Looking back, I was so foolish to harbour such thoughts.

2 weeks back, I went to support Liming's Dancetitude Concert @ NTU ADM. Nice, exciting & a very difference experience! Finally saw our hip-hop king in action, haha... SOUL of 绝对 Superband were also invited to perform there. But at the end of the show, when they said Ishi has passed on, I was shocked. Haiz...

Then to all my friends who sms-ed me on my birthday, 我想说...

All these years, this is one which I received the most birthday sms. So 感动...

[ An Unexpected Encounter ]

That morning, I was having breakfast alone in the company canteen. A colleague from other department (whom I don't know) asked if he could share the table with me. Only a few people around & plenty of space. We chatted for quite sometime. He said one thing that's quite true...

"Remember, don't do all the tasks your boss asked you to, including what he/she repeatedly says important. Do only what you think is important. In short, prioritise."

[ A Lesson from The Enlightened ]

That night I received a Buddhist email newsletter, "The Daily Enlightenment". It links to a Buddhist website which provides daily advice. It says

"Nothing, whatsoever, should be clung to.

Let go, let go of letting go."

It mentions 2 forms of clinging, i.e. one that leads to more clinging, resulting of swirling in the rounds of Samsara in a vicious cycle or clinging that leads to the freedom of non-clinging - like hanging on to a lifesaver. And another article also said

"It is not that others make you unhappy, but your thoughts about what they say and do (or not) that makes you so. If you wish others to treat you well, you have to first treat yourself well. This would include not imagining others can ever "make" you unhappy. This also means that others cannot give you happiness – you have to decide to be happy. Happiness depends on how you condition your mind internally; not external conditions."

I reflected for moment. It's so true! This is the root of the problems. 我真的想太多了. Hmm, I shall try to be more optimistic & not to put too high expectations on anything. It's really about achieving balance. Hope I can really do it one day...

Voices From The Heart

For the past few weeks, I've been thinking about the past, present & future. IA life has never been easy. Although workload has been increasing recently, the journey to work & back home have been filled with feelings of solitude. During the short moments in the bus & train, I couldn't help feeling lost amidst the crowd.

I've been wondering if it's time to let go of those things & focus on what really matters in life. Being away from home for so long & facing so many obstacles have made me become more independent, but also made me feel numb on certain things, especially relationships. Probably I shouldn't say this. It's only natural that people don't feel the same way for you as what you feel about them.

I used to think that there exists one person in this world who truly understands me. But I doubt there'll ever be one. I've no idea what's stopping me to let others know more about myself. I'm afraid to allow myself to be too engrossed into building up relationships, as I worry I will let them down. I don't wish my friends to feel that kind of sadness, vexing heavy burden. Maybe that's also why it's hard for me to feel truly happy, let alone for others to see happiness written on my face.

I used to believe that people can shape their own destinies. It only depends on our determination. Recently I realised I'm wrong. There are things that you can't change, no matter how hard you try. Even though I don't wish to resign to fate, but now I've no choice. However, I'll continue trying, trying & trying.... till I'm too tired to try anymore. Maybe these are my fate, my life, my karma...