Introspection

Since I’m so free these few days, I did some self-reflection & decided to make some changes to myself. This mission is called “H-Reengineering Operation 1”. Here's a list of “Top 10 Changes“ which I wanna achieve, not in any order of priority.

1. Be more confident in myself

Used to be confident (poly & working time), thou not obvious. For some unknown reasons, my confidence level dropped after I got into uni.

2. Be more mindful in thinking, listening, speaking & doing things

I can be “blur-like-sotong”, sometimes making mistakes for very-simple tasks! I'll seriously change this. I wanna be a person whom others can depend on, in any kind of situations.

3. Be more humorous, more fluid & less 罗唆 in communicating with other people

Definitely in my high-priority list! I know I appeared very quiet on the surface. Actually I can be talkative de, but also depends on the topic. If I really feel tired, I'd prefer not to talk. Also if I dunno much about a topic, I’d rather not talk about it, so as not to embarrass myself (bcoz of my ignorance) in front of others.

4. Be a person armed with wide general knowledge

It's good to have more topics to talk about with others (other than academic or other serious matters) & not be stereotyped as an “ice-man”, “bookworm” & "blockwood".

5. Be clearer of my direction & purpose in life

Maybe too occupied with trivial things? Sometimes, in the midst of doing sth, I'd stop & ask myself “Hey, why am I doing this thing? What is it for?” It’s a bit weird.

6. Be more pro-active in anything & not passive most of the time

Well, this is the main side effect of my bad communication skills. I once read somewhere that 1st impression of a person is formed within 10 seconds of observation. Non-verbal cues have the most impact. Maybe I don't give good 1st impression on others, so that's why people would feel uncomfortable or weird while talking to me. Yeah, I can really sensed that. When I sensed that people are uncomfortable talking to me, I'd feel uncomfortable too. So as not to make it worse, I'd rather not talk too much. What a stupid thinking!

7. Be wiser, more logical & creative in anything

Sometimes I made stupid decisions. Besides to learn to be more flexible & less stubborn, I must also learn how to talk nonsense, creatively!

8. Be more decisive & have good time management

I can really get carried away by things that I enjoy doing or matters that have troubled me for some time. So I tend to spend too much time on sth, at the expense of other more important things. This is REAL REAL bad habit & I urgently have to change it.

9. Be more adventurous in trying out new things & to experience life

Probably, I'll try more outdoor sports, arts, more travel trips, etc. I wanna learn new languages too, Japanese, Chinese & French!

10. Be a healthier person

I tend to be absorbed while doing things & frequently eating unhealthy food, esp. when I'm busy at work. I also seriously lack exercise!

I wanna clarify sth here, so that I won't be misunderstood next time. Actually the "sianz/dark/gloomy" face that u see is not bcoz I’m sad, angry, arrogant or anything, but really bcoz I'm tired. I dunno what happened to me, I almost always feel tired (esp. my eyes) in the afternoon, regardless of what time I sleep the previous nite.

So the highest priority now is to eat more healthy food, exercise & rest enuff everyday! As the saying goes, Mens sana in corpore sano, i.e. a healthy mind in a healthy body.

Yeah, I know this is going to be a very big project. I’ll put in effort. Hopefully I can be happier & people would be more refreshed with the new me.